First of all underlying all the emotion, thoughts, beliefs and hopes about love is our basic biochemistry. Humans are hard-wired to love so that they can breed.
Attraction is based on brain chemistry that included a group of neurotransmitters in our brain called monoamines, they are:
These create the feeling we experience as an attraction.
- Dopamine is one of your brain’s “I feel good” chemicals (it’s where the term “dope” came from). It’s also involved in your brain’s motivation and reward systems. When you meet someone you’re attracted to, dopamine starts sending… I feel good chemical “rewards” to your system.
- Norepinephrine (noradrenaline), delivers messages to your central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for your ability to “block out” information that isn’t as interesting as the smart partner in front of you.
- Serotonin regulates a lot of functions in your body, including sexual behavior and body temperature. When you are very attracted to someone, serotonin decreases your body temperature, which makes your skin slightly more able to conduct electricity. This is the reason that love can literally make your skin tingle and you say I am getting butterflies in my stomach.
Other than monoamines another neurotransmitter like oxytocin proved to help, it’s also called love hormone:
As in 2012, researchers reported that people in the first stages of romantic attachment had higher levels of oxytocin, compared with non-attached single people. Sexual activity has been found to stimulate the release of oxytocin, and it appears to have a role in erection and orgasm. It may be that the increased uterine motility may help sperm to reach their destination or correlation between the concentration of oxytocin and the intensity of orgasm.
In fact, experts say that attraction stimulates the same chemicals in the brain that addiction does, such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a boy/girl isn’t attracted to you, it’s nothing to do with you: it’s all down to the chemicals in each person’s brain.
A researcher at Rutgers University suggests that it takes less than one second for the brain to decide whether it considers someone to be attractive or not, hence this is how swipe right on tinder works.
- You may be able to overcome or cope with this split-second first impression, or you may not.
- If not, don’t take it personally people are not able to manage spontaneous impulses and what is judged may not have anything to do negatively with you.
e.g. For instance, some women are drawn to men which are high risk-takers, some are more attracted to those who seem more cautious. There is nothing wrong with being either.
Understanding how attraction works may seem to take some of the mystery and magic from this human emotion. However, what it does make clear is that love and attraction is a fundamental part of how we are hard-wired. And it is on a level that is not heavily rational. And sometimes the chemistry literally is right or wrong.
Funny Quote: Here are some words of wisdom from Grandpa rick to his grandson Morty from the adult cartoon Rick and Morty: