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Sh1t That Happens in Typical Indian Weddings

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Hello! Bhaiyo aur meri Saheliyo! Sorry for this post that I am going to write.. wait a second… I am actually writing. Err Again. Hello! Bhaiyo aur Saheliyo! Sorry for such a long time to write a new post. Sach Sach Batao Kiss Kiss ne mujhe miss kiya? Ummm Hmmm Aaan Haan!! 😉

Advertisement: Vicco Turmeric, nahi cosmetic. Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream. Keel Muhaso ke jade se hataye, twacha ke gunn isme samaye. Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream.!!Vicco-Turmeric-900x900This article is all about what sh1t we usually see in our big fat Indian weddings. Yes Shaadi, that way in which parents of the bride and grooms wants to get away from their children and finally let their life live in their way independently. Band baja-wala, Nagede-wala, phool-wala, singers, DJs, Indian-wear fashion Industry, catering-wala, nayi (barber), pundito ki roti ka aadhar. Ression ho ya Inflation shaadi mubarak zindabaad! Indian wedding are not about the bonding of two straight people. It is about the bonding of two families where couples have to attach with every other family member including that buddhi dadi who speaks gibberish and on liquid diet. For couple’s family. The first thing they think about wedding is the organization of the ceremony. In working middle class parents have to arrange a separate fixed deposit bank account so that they can easily pay all the spendings without installments and all that financial shit. Because even if the family can not afford the spendings of their normal day to day.

This is what google search result comes out when you type Indian Wedding.

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They all do so much just for the pseudo show off. Inflation might have burned a hole in mango people’s pocket but the Indian wedding is as big and fat as ever. For all other family members and relatives. It is all about heavy shopping, food and floor breaking dance. So first I tell you all about this heavy shopping specially of outfits and accessories. IMG_20130414_195302-1 Shopping, shopping and more Goddamn shopping. Specially with these women. Sorry girls! I am not some kind of jerk or who hate all this culture and tradition but yes this shit all happen when a typical Indian lady do prepare after listening about someone is getting married. 😀 Lagun ke liya yeh dress. Shagun ke liye woh wali saree. Mehndi ke liya woh wala kurta. Sangeet mai chiffon wali saree. Jaymala wali night woh naya designer lehnga. Shoes, sandals, watches, bangles, perfumes, and lot of more expensive stuffs that I am familiar with. So overall it becomes hours and time and money and never ending satisfaction. Because no matter how much you spend, how gorgeous you look, the next lady would definitely appearing better. 😛

After writing this I’ve very less chances of getting laid this week) For men it is the most the moment of chaos and usually takes very less time in comparison to women. Most of the people use to wear suit and tie, kurta pajama or sherwani. For this all they need either go to retail outlets and simply purchase as per their size. But if the person is very fussy about the what he wears or of abnormal size. He has to give to tailor master and have to wait for weeks to get. Not the all like women but most the bachelors and some freaks. Most prefer to wear kurta pajamas and try to look like Shahrukh of K3G even when they have a face of Saif  in Roadside Romeo. 😀 IMG_20130414_200410-002 Advertisement: Bajradanti bajradanti Vicco bajradanti..!! Vicco powder vicco paste..!! ♫ Aayurvedic Jadebootiyo se bana sampoorn swadesi. Vicco powder vicco paste. Vicco!! Bajradanti!! 😀 vicco_vajradanti_medium-500x500 After meaningless shopping of dressings. Here comes the arrival of the both parties. Ladkiwale “The bride’s side” and Ladkewale “The groom’s side”. Traditionally Ladkiwale arrange the arrangements for all the ceremonies and functions. Now here it comes the main event where everyone is gets ready with all glittering and sleekly face. Double facial, heavy makeups, loads of precious jewelry to show off. Normal people do wass up? and some people started to do up wass! 😉 Yes, the fast of not eating so that they can enjoy different different varieties of culinary at the same evening. Usually in Indian wedding locally invited people mostly are not interested to know about the bride and groom, what they do, where they are from, how much money they spend on everything else. They all eat four times of their regular appetite and then say aaj toh *kuchh zyada ho gya*. (Clapping).

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Different people, different way to enjoy the meal. Non-vegan mostly attack on the chicken dishes and eat like they are eating after years or will not able to eat after that. Many of you guys familiar with tradition Punjabi way of eating where the person take a regular plate, fill up with a pound of rice or pulao. The classical way is to keep it in the shape of some conical mountain. No matter what they like, know about the dish. All the gravies on the top, middle with dried dishes, the sides are filled with naan, puri or any other kinda bread. They try to fill serve everything in their plate/s.

So that next time whenever they meet to someone, they can not say I didn’t tried that, I missed that or make fun of someone who didn’t tasted. 😛 After food here comes the time to dance. The part of the time when every creature wants to express that they have guts to dance like MJ, Usher, Shakira, Beyonce. In the end of the day, they have to deal with Govinda, Sri Devi, Anil Kapoor swag. In weddings no matter a person ever dance in rest of other moments but he or she have to dance like a freak. From a 3 year old who just stated to walk properly an uncle with all grey hair. Just dance like they won some big battle and it’s time to celebrate until they collapse. In typical Punjabi weddings or say a free booze party where usually men drink like they will never ever gonna get a glass of liquor to drink in rest of their life. After drinking glasses all they go crazy and dance in, what say.. Just daans!. -_-

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Usually the dance of the family members of the groom side (Ladkewale) starts from the classical ceremony called “Ghudsavari” where groom riding a mare comes with his side and with the dancing shoes on the public road. In arrangements a group of so called band comes with the party. All the Nagadawala beats their Nagada (big Indian drum) and few big military hand drum sturdily no matter where they are, it’s incredible India. Mostly in Indian weddings a wedding singer is also arranged who is the best example of the people who think they can do all the job of the day in couple of hours. I mean they don’t have any singing talent or so but all they do is sing the limited number of bollywood songs that they mugged up. Though the main concern of them is not singing, as they are can do voice of both male and female, yea right! they also sing songs by female artists by making a painful ear bleeding high pitch voice. Although wherever you go in North India. They always sing these limited number of songs for sure whithout it no wedding can be finished. Songs like “Naagin, the snake song”, Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai”, “Kudi Punjaban dil chura ke”, “Kajra re” “Munni Badnaam Hui” etc in the as high volume as they can arrange.

Here are a couple of clips of Indian wedding dances that you may like to enjoy. 😀

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=327098337416818&set=vb.188365381302107&type=2&theater http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jcstt9Ry8i8

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Technosexual’s Sony Xperia Z: Review

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It’s almost a month Sony introduced the new Xperia Z smartphone under the tag best of sony. Let see what actually it is.

Design: of the new Sony Xperia Z  is the main thing that catches the eyes. The sleek and slim build quality is great made with good quality polyimide and glass. The wow factor of the phone is total water and dustproof body as we all familiar with its advertisement. But does it make sense in daily use. Unless you live near sea shore any waterbody but can he afford this. It’s perfect phone for a poolboy. I guess not but it’s a good safety measure just like airbags in a modern car. For me It gives mixed opinion as design has no innovation. Just a simple piece a 5″ piece of slab in your hand with sharp edges and awkward placement of toggle on/off button makes it uncomfortable to use. Basically poor ergonomically designed phone. Also the glass back is fingerprint magnet. So I suggest anyone who wants to buy to avoid the black and get the purple or white model.

Display:  of the sony is really great in the first sight. It’s really sharp from the front thanks to it’s super pixel density of 440 PPI (pixels per inch)and natural colours output. The Bravia engine 2 plays important role while watching images and videos. It only gets autoturn in that situation. It really boosts some colour vibrancy and brightness. After getting to know all such this and I compared with other phones. It’s not the great overall. The screen just lacks vibrancy, it appears kinda dull.  Unfortunately Sony used the low quality IPS TFT display on the phone and tried to emphasise it with gimmicky Sony’s opti-contrast technology results still the worst contrast and viewing angles in comparison to other high end phones out there.

Camera: Oh! my lord. I expected so much from Sony as they used the new Exmor RS sensor. It  is very much disappointing.  First impression is so pathetic for anyone. It takes about 4-5 seconds to open the default camera app. The pictures are just can be said to be quite average when it comes to sharpness and details in automode. When we take images in daylight most of the cameras show their best in this situation but nothing special in the final images of this phone. The colour accuracy and resolution was good. Also the low light images are nothing if you compare with iPhone 5, Galaxy SIII and Lumia 920 like phones. Not something special in camera department. Sorry Sony!. In terms of video recording I am impressed quite by this. The audio recording was superb, the video stability is great and again colours appeared more natural and here focusing was excellent than other smartphones.

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Reception and call quality:  is great for an expensive phone like this and it performed very well as I expected. It supports all exclusive radios available like 4G LTE and high speed HSPA. Who cares? Normal smartphone user in India don’t even get a Mbps speed in 3G. There is no call or wi-fi dropping issue.

Sound and Music: of the phone is great but only in ears because the audio speaker that is on the bottom edge of of the phone is seriously polite. It’s hardly audible in the normal room condition. For a brand like sony that also makes high quaity audio products. I would expect a flagship phone should have great lound and clear speakers. But here again the disappointment. For the in-ear experience one should get a pair of pro audio earphones. The default sony walkman app is very friendly to use and produces very soothing and pleasurable sound in any type of music thanks to its equalizer, but again there is no wow factor.

Hardware Performance: wise it is performed really brilliant. Till date it is the officially India’s the highest performing smartphone. This time sony didn’t used some sorta older chipsets and processor like they done in predecessor Xperia S. The phone comes with  quad core snapdragon S4 Pro processor that performs incredibly well. It’s the same quad core processor that comes in Google Nexus 4. In benchmarks it is on top notch. Memory of 2GB is also pretty well, muti-tasking is pleasure. But sometimes it gets some glitch lag in heavy media.

Software Performance: of this phone is pretty well. The phone is 4.1.2 Android Jelly bean out of the box but not the latest version that is 4.2.2 found in Nexus  4. Unlike previous phones of sony this phone is less burden with new Sony Xperia skin. Graphic User Interface (GUI) is now less complex much simpler yet rich in features and but not totally as good as stock vanilla android in terms of performance. Themes are quite boring and dull with greyish background. Again there is no innovation or wow factor about it in software department.

Battery life: is great for a device like this. As we all know Androids are notorious for it’s battery life. But Sony worked their hands off to get most redox juice. By default it is average but awesome things come when in Sony stamina mode. Practically it boosts the battery life by switching off all unnecessary connections like wifi and 3G when phone when is not in use. There are some third party apps like that which do similar function so it’s a little wow factor.

Overall: I give this phone 7.5/10. It’s a nice high end smartphone when it comes to general day to day performance but not the perfect phone for a big price tag of MRP 38,990. Upcoming flagship phones from HTC and Samsung are coming in India that are better than Xperia Z. I suggest you to wait for it if you can or get this phone. You will not disappoint for sure. Good bye and spread happiness.  Thanks for reading. 🙂